This Gift Called Grace: Who I Am - World Down Syndrome Day 2013

***I’m partnering with the International Down Syndrome Coalition (IDSC) in celebration of World Down Syndrome Day (WDSD). Bloggers who write about Down syndrome were asked to write a post and share today on 3/21 – which stands for three copies of the 21^st chromosome. This year’s theme is “Who I Am”, so please take a moment to read my take on this theme and view the beautiful video created by the IDSC.***

So, your baby walks, talks, is out of diapers, can say the ABC’s, count to 10 in Spanish, and you haven’t even left the hospital yet?! Clearly that’s an exaggeration, but the real question I’m getting at is why do parents feel the innate need to share how early their child started doing things? As parents, we fall so quickly into the habit of comparison, something I’ve heard described as “the compare snare”. It is two-sided really. One side is quick to brag about accomplishments and the other side feels like they are failing as a parent because their child isn’t on the same time table for that same accomplishment. This “compare snare” can cause quiet dissention between friends, crippling thoughts that you are doing something wrong or not doing enough.

I can be real here, right? In five years, will it matter when they learned to walk? No, what matters is that they walk. It’s like a high school or college GPA…does it really matter once you’re in the work force? What can we do, as parents, to change this? I want to encourage you to rethink questions between each other, to intentionally think about this idea of comparison. I want to know about your child, about his or her personality, not necessarily what he or she has accomplished. Instead of asking “does Bobby walk yet?” ask “what makes Bobby laugh?” There is a huge difference between those two types of questions. The first may make a parent feel uncomfortable answering because their child may not be walking yet – I personally fit into that category. The second allows most everyone to answer, and who doesn’t love sharing a fun story of how they’ve gotten their child to giggle?!

I recently read a poem that describes this idea of comparison in a way that I think we all can relate to in one way or another:

Reaching –

Sometimes I wonder where it comes from?

This idea of reaching, you know, wanting more?

It seems like it’s all I can remember from the moment I was born.

My mom says people wanted to know my length and weight,

And told her about how big their babies were with a size chart for debate.

It didn’t stop there though, following me through school.

We compared who took the first step and said their first word,

Who sat on the potty and who was first to drop friends at the pool.

Was I the teacher’s pet? Who could go the whole way on the monkey bars?

Who could run the fastest and get straight A’s and be so smart?

In junior high, I wanted the clearest skin,

But those darn pimples kept popping up like pins.

Who got asked first to the dance?

Did that girl really like me, or did she really like Mike Vance?

I tried not to worry, I tried not to see,

That so many others seem to be creeping ahead of me.

The years to come didn’t get any better as I reached for more,

When can I get the best smartphone and drive the best car?

How many friends on Facebook do I have?

What about my first date?

Does it really matter what label I wear? I was so caught up just in case someone might stare.

But the reaching never stopped, I kept wanting more.

Whatever everyone else wanted, I wanted it before.

What college would I go to? Would I marry someone they all liked?

Is my career what I’m passionate about or would it merely buy that new motor bike?

We searched for a house to live in but they all seemed too small,

My best friend just bought one on the nice side of town.

It wasn’t just me that seemed to get caught inside the frame,

My kids were growing up and acting just the same.

The bumper sticker on my car said my boy was smarter than yours,

He was an honor roll student and played nearly every sport.

And we grew as a family with things and such, always reaching for what was just out of touch.

Hoping and praying that we could do anything we wanted - if we just believed.

Hoping no one really was looking inside our hearts too, deep.

Trying to be better than anyone else around,

Trying to get ahead rather than slow down.

And see life couldn’t be found…In the buying and selling of stuff on this earth.

Filling our hearts to cover the hurt.

And, now that I’m older, I’m wondering about the end.

Who will attend my funeral,

Will my casket be made of wood or some new plastic trend?

Did I save enough so I can live just like I used to,

Or will I be stuck in a home with a small window view?

Looking back, I wished I done less looking, to see if the person beside me was better than me.

I wish I had done less reaching, less focusing on the more, for all I want now is for someone to come through the door.

To let me know I’m loved, that who I am was enough,

I wish I would have let God know He was bigger than all the stuff.

Now it all sits in an 8 by 8 frame, rotting and piling with dust,

Where moths can destroy it and thieves can lust.

For where your treasure your heart is, not in the reaching for more,

But in simply believing beyond this life is what’s at life’s core…

Sometimes I wonder where it comes from?

This idea of reaching, you know, wanting more…

Today, we celebrate World Down Syndrome Day (WDSD). A day to spotlight the sweet ones in our lives who rock an extra chromosome. God created each one of us to be unique. He was purposeful. You are who you are…and that was His perfect plan. “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

The IDSC chose “Who I Am” as this year’s theme for WDSD. I love it because it is so incredibly all encompassing. It is a powerful statement that shows others how you view yourself. And, since Reece is a little too young to tell me who he thinks he is, I took the liberty of selecting what he might say: