I didn’t know my heart had the capacity for this kind of love.
When you dream of becoming a mom, you imagine loving your
child from the moment you lay eyes on him or her. But what if you receive
devastating news that makes you question the love you have for your new baby?
That’s exactly where I found myself when Reece was born. I
knew as soon as I saw him that my fear of having a child with special needs was
confirmed. I closed my eyes and wished to be pregnant again, to go back to not
knowing. To go back to not having to think of the challenges he would face
throughout his life. Clearly God had given me a baby meant for someone else.
I wish more than anything now that I could go back to myself
on that day and whisper in my ear what I know now…I would say:
“I know you’re afraid he’ll never have friends, but just last week he had a play date with a friend from church.I know you think people will stare, they do, but only because they are captured by his loving and friendly personality. He has a fan club, you know! The girls at the gym day-care scold Jeff when he visits the gym without him. And the cashier at the grocery story tells us she loves when we’re in her line because he is just so cute!I know you’re scared he won’t walk or talk, but he’s so fast you can barely keep up. And although he doesn’t have real words yet, he can communicate through sign language. Today he told you he wanted to take a bath.I know you’re nervous he won’t understand what’s going on, but he is so smart. Recently, when you were crying after a rough day, he walked over to you and put his hand on your check and said “oh” with the most sincere concern for your feelings.I know you worry he won’t be able to express how he feels about you, but his hugs, oh his hugs, so tight you can barely breathe. He gives the sweetest kisses. He squeals when you and Jeff hug AND he pushes you and Jeff together to make you kiss. He understands love and shows it in the most amazing ways.And, I know you don’t think you can love him the way you dreamed, but you do. You love him MORE than you dreamed. Don’t be afraid to open your heart to him, God knows what He is doing.”
Thinking back now, it angers me that my first reaction was to question if I could love him the way I dreamed of loving my children.
There isn’t one thing I would change about Reece. Not his
fun-loving personality. Not his friendly attitude. Not his obsessive love for
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Ok, well maybe I would skip through the typical two
year old meltdowns. But who wouldn’t?!
When I think about how much I love Reece, and how strongly I
feel about him, if I love him THAT much, how much does God love us? I can’t
even fathom God’s kind of love. The lyrics from a Christian music group, Group
1 Crew, paint a beautiful picture of how God’s love for us is unconditional and
never ending:HIS KIND OF LOVE – Group 1 CrewThere are no words, no phrase I could create
There is no melody that I could make
How do you sing about a love so deep
Without feeling like you missed something
I could try but I could not explain
His kind of love (His kind of love)
Is reckless for us
His kind of love will never give up
‘Till the whole world knows how far He went to show
His kind of love
His kind of love
His kind of love
His kind of love
Tell me what kind of God would choose to save
The bruised, the broken, the sinners, the runaways
How do you ever try to comprehend
this love that knows no limit
I could try but I could not explain
His kind of love (His kind of love)
Is reckless for us
His kind of love will never give up
‘Till the whole world knows how far He went to show
His kind of love
His kind of love
His kind of love
His kind of love
This is our God
He is strong and His mercy is our song
He won’t stop chasing us
That’s just His kind of love
His kind of love
His kind of love
His kind of love (His kind of love)
Is reckless for us
His kind of love will never give up
‘Till the whole world knows how far He went to show
His kind of love
His kind of love
His kind of love, His kind of love
His kind of love, His kind of love
This is our God,
He is strong and His mercy is our song
His kind of love, His kind of love
Just think about that for a minute. Let it soak in. God’s love is reckless for us. That means He would do ANYTHING for us, anything. And when I think about my love for Reece, I know I would do anything for him, giving me just a small glimpse of how God feels about His children. This kind of love I have for Reece…it’s definitely reckless, definitely.
Take a moment to watch the 2014 World Down Syndrome Day video capturing "This Kind of Love"
Read an incredible story of a bond so great between parents and a woman with Down syndrome.
For a complete list of bloggers participating in the IDSC 2014 World Down Syndrome Day "This Kind of Love" campaign, click here!
