This Kind of Love - World Down Syndrome Day 2014

***I’m partnering with the International Down Syndrome Coalition (IDSC) in celebration of World Down Syndrome Day (WDSD). Bloggers who write about Down syndrome were asked to write a post and share today on 3/21 – which stands for three copies of the 21^st chromosome. This year’s theme is “This Kind of Love”, so please take a moment to read my take on this theme and view the beautiful video created by the IDSC.***


I didn’t know my heart had the capacity for this kind of love.

When you dream of becoming a mom, you imagine loving your child from the moment you lay eyes on him or her. But what if you receive devastating news that makes you question the love you have for your new baby?

That’s exactly where I found myself when Reece was born. I knew as soon as I saw him that my fear of having a child with special needs was confirmed. I closed my eyes and wished to be pregnant again, to go back to not knowing. To go back to not having to think of the challenges he would face throughout his life. Clearly God had given me a baby meant for someone else.

I wish more than anything now that I could go back to myself on that day and whisper in my ear what I know now…I would say:

“I know you’re afraid he’ll never have friends, but just last week he had a play date with a friend from church.

I know you think people will stare, they do, but only because they are captured by his loving and friendly personality. He has a fan club, you know! The girls at the gym day-care scold Jeff when he visits the gym without him. And the cashier at the grocery story tells us she loves when we’re in her line because he is just so cute!

I know you’re scared he won’t walk or talk, but he’s so fast you can barely keep up. And although he doesn’t have real words yet, he can communicate through sign language. Today he told you he wanted to take a bath.

I know you’re nervous he won’t understand what’s going on, but he is so smart. Recently, when you were crying after a rough day, he walked over to you and put his hand on your check and said “oh” with the most sincere concern for your feelings.

I know you worry he won’t be able to express how he feels about you, but his hugs, oh his hugs, so tight you can barely breathe. He gives the sweetest kisses. He squeals when you and Jeff hug AND he pushes you and Jeff together to make you kiss. He understands love and shows it in the most amazing ways.

And, I know you don’t think you can love him the way you dreamed, but you do. You love him MORE than you dreamed. Don’t be afraid to open your heart to him, God knows what He is doing.”

 
Thinking back now, it angers me that my first reaction was to question if I could love him the way I dreamed of loving my children.

There isn’t one thing I would change about Reece. Not his fun-loving personality. Not his friendly attitude. Not his obsessive love for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Ok, well maybe I would skip through the typical two year old meltdowns. But who wouldn’t?!

When I think about how much I love Reece, and how strongly I feel about him, if I love him THAT much, how much does God love us? I can’t even fathom God’s kind of love. The lyrics from a Christian music group, Group 1 Crew, paint a beautiful picture of how God’s love for us is unconditional and never ending:

HIS KIND OF LOVE – Group 1 Crew

There are no words, no phrase I could create
There is no melody that I could make
How do you sing about a love so deep
Without feeling like you missed something
I could try but I could not explain

His kind of love (His kind of love)
Is reckless for us
His kind of love will never give up
‘Till the whole world knows how far He went to show
His kind of love
His kind of love

His kind of love
His kind of love

Tell me what kind of God would choose to save
The bruised, the broken, the sinners, the runaways
How do you ever try to comprehend
this love that knows no limit
I could try but I could not explain

His kind of love (His kind of love)
Is reckless for us
His kind of love will never give up
‘Till the whole world knows how far He went to show
His kind of love
His kind of love

His kind of love
His kind of love

This is our God
He is strong and His mercy is our song
He won’t stop chasing us
That’s just His kind of love

His kind of love
His kind of love

His kind of love (His kind of love)
Is reckless for us
His kind of love will never give up
‘Till the whole world knows how far He went to show
His kind of love
His kind of love

His kind of love, His kind of love
His kind of love, His kind of love

This is our God,
He is strong and His mercy is our song
His kind of love, His kind of love

 
Just think about that for a minute. Let it soak in. God’s love is reckless for us. That means He would do ANYTHING for us, anything. And when I think about my love for Reece, I know I would do anything for him, giving me just a small glimpse of how God feels about His children. This kind of love I have for Reece…it’s definitely reckless, definitely.

 

 
Take a moment to watch the 2014 World Down Syndrome Day video capturing "This Kind of Love"

Read an incredible story of a bond so great between parents and a woman with Down syndrome.
 
For a complete list of bloggers participating in the IDSC 2014 World Down Syndrome Day "This Kind of Love" campaign, click here!

Long Race Ahead

Toes edge up against the starting line. You’ve prepared for this marathon. It’s a long race ahead, but the endless hours of training and conditioning assure you that you’re ready. Laces tight on your running shoes. You’ve never run this race but your confidence is fierce and that’s all that matters. The other runners beside you get into position. If they can do this…we can do this.

 

You see, this race is not what you think. This marathon is parenthood. It’s what you’ve prepared for. It’s a long race ahead, but the endless hours of learning assure you that you’re ready. You’ve never run this race but your confidence is fierce, and that’s all that matters. The other mothers and fathers beside you get into position. If they can do this…we can do this.

 

You have all prepared for the exact same experience… to have a sweet little baby that you’ve dreamed big dreams for. That perfect baby that you can’t wait to lay your eyes on, to smother in sweet kisses, and to breathe deep that new baby smell that lingers in your nostrils. You’re ready. It’s what you’ve prepared for.

 

Deep breath, final positions, fingers against the ground. The starting gun shot sounds. Off the other runners go but before you in your lane, stands Everest. The world’s highest mountain, one of the most challenging and rarely conquered peaks. Panic sets in. This was not the race you prepared for. You were ready for even terrain, small hills, and gradual ascents… not knife-edge ridges, switchbacks, wild climates, and a nearly impossible summit.

 

That was the scene we saw before us the moment we met Reece, our now almost two year old son. We received an unexpected diagnosis of Down syndrome at birth which sent our perfect world into a paralyzing spiral. Raising a child with special needs was the Everest we were facing. A journey we had not prepared for.

 

We wanted the easy path. We wanted to take our baby home and live a normal life, but instead we were taking our son to specialists to determine if he had heart defects, gastrointestinal issues, hearing and vision loss, and meeting with genetic counselors to figure out how this could have happened to a 28 year old mother and father. Limits were placed on Reece by doctors, specialists, and therapists before he even had a chance to prove himself otherwise. The thought of reaching the summit of our Everest was getting even more impossible.

 

You learn that climbing a mountain requires very different gear than running. You unlace your running shoes and slide on the hiking boots. Gone are the light-weight running tanks and shorts, you will need layers of protective clothing. Hands you expected to be free now grip trekking poles. Helmet, harness, ropes, carabineers…the list goes on and on. Each challenge you face calls for a new tool you’ve never used.

 

Day by day, little by little, you start the journey up the mountain. You’re still on that same journey that other mothers are on, but your race is entirely different. You’re still going to reach that finish line, it’s just going to take longer than you expected. You are faced with an obstacle you didn’t plan for, but know it’s a challenge you are willing to take on. Because that sweet baby is worth every hard day you face, they deserve the same fierce confidence you brought to this race.

 

There are days that we wish Reece didn’t have to have physical, occupational, and speech therapy. Days that we want to cry because we lost another therapist to another state or a better job. Days we wish someone could jump over the confusing hurdles the State has in place for the Early Intervention program for us. Days that we question why God chose us to be Reece’s parents?

 

At almost two, Reece is just now taking those long awaited baby steps. A few weeks ago, he was bravely learning how to stand on his own, plant his feet and take a few steps at a time. But now! He is boldly walking. This is a skill that most typically developing children achieve months before the age of two. Was it hard for us to see other children walking before Reece? Absolutely yes. Comparison slowly crept into the corners of our minds, but just as we were about to surrender to that trap, we were reminded that even though Reece achieved a milestone nearly a year later than his peers…He. Still. Achieved. It’s no secret that he will have his own Everest to face, but we are right here with him climbing by his side.

 

Which race do you find yourself running today? Maybe the slow and steady marathon or maybe the unexpected climb of Everest. Whichever journey you’re on, remember we serve a big God who gives us the strength to run the race, will you be faithful to complete it?

 

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” – 2 Timothy 4:7

 

-Original post featured on Mark Rempel's a1000words blog on July 23, 2013: read it here!